Just for you locals..... - You say Santa Barbara with a silent T - You get ocean views from the mountains. - Fiesta eggs! - Santa Barbara hates San Marcos, San Marcos hates Santa Barbara. They both hate Dos Pueblos and Bishop is completely forgotten about. - You know which theater to sneak into.. duhhhh stadium seating! - Two words... Lazy Acres. - You know the pit, the wall, hams, the cove, conch, r beach and everywhere in between. - When you've seen the van with the mirrors, tiles and stuff all over it. - There's rain on fiesta friday. - Knowing a "mission" with your friends, isn't visiting the SB Mission. - You've seen State Street's snake people and that old black guy with the lap bongo! He's so cool! - You see a million people you know just driving around town. - You go to mansion house parties. - Frescos. Flourless chocolate cupcakes. MMM. - NATURAL CAFE! - You drive up to the snow that one week of the year. - You have snuck into Bacara and Biltmore. - You've been to secret bonfire locations and the non-secret spots too. - You've walked the journey to R beach in the dark. - You know everyone in SB through somebody else. - You see whole families wearing rainbow sandals. - You know the music academy's password to avoid traffic. - Finding sea glass at Hope Ranch Beach. - You've attended the Hope Ranch Beach campout. - Volleyball at East Beach. - You've visited Circle Bar n B. - You leave to try and make enough money only so you can move back. - You miss Mason B. Mason - You know the EXACT time it takes to get from Montecito to the other side of town. - You know who "Jesus" is, and also know that he has the best weed. - State street is so overrated, and you drive to Ventura to get some quality shopping done. - You graduated high school and yet you come home and still see everyone you know. - Being star-struck is not cool. - The cars in the high school parking lot are worth more than the school itself. - The average price of your house is higher than any other zipcode. - Hangover breakfasts at Mesa Cafe are a must. - Goleta is soo not the same. - You flash your brights at people parked at the sunset lookout/makeout point near the Pit. - You go to the beach every day in summer, and almost every day the rest of the year. - Summertime means having to take APS everywhere. - You know where the best (and cheapest) Mexican food place is in town. - You feel really cool when you hang out on the wall and get to talk to all the sleaze balls that graduated a million years before you did. - Friday means HABIT day. - You go to In N' Out after every single SM vs. SB game in hopes of watching a fight. - You don't look twice at the Picasso hanging on the wall of your friend's mansion. - You know where Super Cucas #1, #2, and #3 are, and love going to #2 because Hector works there. - Ice blocking and glow bowling is something you do when you're bored on a Wednesday night. - You wore your rocket dogs and Juicy jumpsuit to Zelos on Sundays. - You miss Be-Bop-Burgers and Hot Spots! - Homeless people and Bentley's can live together in harmony. - You can point out a tourist in a millisecond. - You see 10 year olds wearing Juicy. - You think the SB vs. SM game is the biggest thing of the year. - Alll your friends from out of town love IV and your OVER IT. - You took prom pics at the Mission rose garden. - You've hiked at Cold Springs and 7 falls. - You miss the crooked neck giraffe...RIP :( - No one understands why you laugh out loud at the San Marcos Pass scenes in "The Graduate" and "Austin Powers 2." - You know what "El Nino" is and what it did to Santa Barbara. - You've seen Oprah walking around in her sweats in Montecito and Britney on State just cruisin. - You've seen Paul Walker at the SB Bowl or surfing at Butterfly Beach. - You can order at Cajun without looking at the menu. - You get off and then back on the freeway at Garden and Milpas to avoid the bottleneck. - When you were younger, Kid's World was the greatest thing on earth. And your handprint is still there. - You know how many times the cow has been painted. - You know or recognize at least two people who show up on this front page... - You don't necessarily recognize the people on the front page, but you know their siblings. - Living in a non beach town just doesnt cut it, you always come back. - You hate Chipotle and Jamba Juice because you have Freebirds and Blenders. - It drizzles and the 101 backs up. - You search high and low for a Rusty's in other cities but then realize that only in SB will you find such a treasure. - You're late for school because of traffic from Michael Jackson's trial. - You get pulled over and searched in IV because "your headlight is out" when you know for a fact it isn't. - Your run down shack goes for over a million easily. - You've seen what happens to the dolphin fountain when you put soap in it. - You've walked up and down the La Playa stadium steps to workout in the morning. - You've been at a sports field and heard/seen the homeless spectators heckling the players. - You're pissed about Santa's new location in the ghetto of Oxnard. - You remember eating at Fresh Choice on State Street. - You know that Hope Ranch is great to drive through at two in the morning, because the police pretty much never go there. - You know where to find a Farmers' Market almost any day of the week. - A winter wardrobe consists of jean skirts and Uggs. - You know where Periwinkle Lane is and what you can find there. - You remember when the 101 had a stop-light to cross State Street. - No one from the other states know where your city is but everyone in France knows exactly and laughs when you try to explain that it's close to LA. - The football jocks have 4.0's and are accepted to most ivy league schools. - You remember Orchid Bowl, Powell Skate Park, and the Living Room. - Your english teacher asks, "Why is your car worth 10,000 more than mine?". - You abbreviate the shit out of everything....whatev. - Traffic backs up along the beach by the cemetary, so you take the "short cut" and everyone hates you. - You spent most of your childhood in the huge wave in Be Bop Burgers. - You know about the crazy house that seems to be made out of marble and the dog on Garden that is dressed up for every damn holiday. - You know who really decorates that big tree in off San Ysidro every year in the middle of the night. - Your city concert bowl has quiet hours at 10:30 pm. - Forget Zodos, it was all about the Old San Marcos Bowl. - You have been in the Hope Ranch newspaper for doing something stupid. - You dressed as a freak for Summer Solstice. - You, or someone you were close to, played AYSO as a kid. - You know where and what More Mesa is. - You and your house almost get blown away during winter break. - Jack Johnson's wife was your math teacher, and he performed at your high school's talent show. - You walk into a bar and you realized you played spin the bottle with the bartender about 8 years ago. - You've tipped the guy who makes the sand sculptures by the wharf. - You've tried to take a picture of that same guy, and got yelled at. - You meet your friends in front of CPK but never go in. - You know who the guy with the lip piercing that works in the shoe section of Nordstroms is. - You've seen the whale skeleton, the giant squid on ceiling, the wave simulator and that topless Chumash woman diorama. - Seeing Mission creek when it's full after rains. - Rocky Nook Park. - The old BMX jumps they used to have down in the gully next to the mission lawn. - If you're a Royal, you hate the way they repainted all the traffic lights by school for some lame senior gift after you graduated. - You know where Francesci Park is and go there regularly with your friends at night to look at the INSANE view of the city. - It's 85 degrees on Valentines Day. - There are more than 10 stores in town that sell jeans for more than $250. - Your Halloween isnt just one night, its a whole weekend. - Everyone thinks Carp is the ghetto. - Everyone knows who the "back flip for a dollar guys" are. - You've laughed at the weird bellydancer on State. - You know which kids are tweakers, cokeheads, stoners, and alcoholics just by looking at them. - You called Mona when you were kids...966-6969...at the sound of moan, the time is... - You've never stayed in a hotel in SB, but you sure have swam in their pools. - You've kissed someone on "the wall." - You remember the earthling. - You've eaten at main squeeze. - At one point of your life you've waited out in front of CPK to be picked up. - You make fun of all the junior high kids congregated at Camino... but remember doing it yourself. - Your friends had birthday parties at Skating Plus and you thought it took forever to get there. - You always thought your house was kind of small until you realized that you have mountain and ocean views and it's worth over a million. - You complain that SB is getting more like L.A. everyday, but never want to leave and still want to raise your family here. - You can honestly say that your parents burnt down the Bank of America in IV during the summmer of ’69. - You rent snowboards at Mountain Air instead of at Mammoth. - You go to a party in Hope Ranch and Montecito (the kind of places people dream about) in the same night. - The parties are broken up usually by 9:30. - 5 cops cars show up to one high school party. - You show up to class and see half the students with Starbucks. - Your idea of bad traffic is a 10 minute wait at Milpas. - You drive around the Milpas round-about at 1 AM at least 6 times going over 50 mph. - You drive down Haley after 10 to awkwardly look at the hookers. - The girl you meet in line at Freebirds ends up in Playboy the next month. - John Cleese has almost run you over at least once. This list has been compiled from a bunch of Santa Barbara kids- most of these items I agree with, others could go kick rocks and go back to Goleta. HA ! Nah, I am not a hater now that I work in the Goodland, but yeah. That's all. |
